25 Funny Quotes About Writing From Writers To Put Your Creative Worries At Ease

I asked Jocko why he’d hung around with all those poets and artists and musicians back then. ‘You were one scary dude, man,’ I said.
He said: ‘Yeah, well, artists are a lot like gangsters. They both know that the official version, the one every else believes, is a lie.’

-Russell Banks,

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
—Robert A. Heinlein

“For many decades now I have been a fiction writer, and from the first I was aware that mine was a questionable occupation.”

-Saul Bellow,

“Whatever I knew about constructing a piece of fiction lay in an usorted jumble in waht a shrink would call the unconscious but I prefer to think of as the cellar.”

-Anne Bernays, _Writers on Writing_

“When you’re trying to create a career as a writer, a little delusional thinking goes a long way.”
-Michael Lewis

“Write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.”
-Mark Twain

“Of course the writer cannot always burn with a hard gemlike flame or a white heat, but it should be possible to be a chubby hot-water bottle, rendering maximum attentiveness in the most enterprising sentences.”
-Paul West

“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”
-Elmore Leonard

“It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and write it sentence by sentence–no first draft. I can’t write five words but that I can change seven.”
-Dorothy Parker

“The road to Hell is paved with adverbs.”
-Stephen King

“It is perfectly okay to write garbage — as long as you edit it brilliantly.”
-C.J. Cherryh

“All autobiographies are alibi-ographies.”
-Clare Booth Luce

“I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.”
-A.J. Liebling

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”
-Robert Benchley

“There are three rules for the writing of a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”
-Somerset Maugham

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
-Mark Twain

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”
-Saul Bellow

“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.”
T.S. Eliot

“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
-G.K. Chesterton

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
-Ray Bradbury

“If my doctor told me had six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.”
-Isaac Asimov

“I’m not a very good writer, but I’m an excellent rewriter.”
-James Michener

“Half my life is an act of revision.”
-John Irving

“Writers are always selling somebody out.”
-Joan Didion

“I have this one nasty habit. Makes me hard to live with. I write.”
-Robert Heinlein

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